Cathy Stucker - The Idea Lady

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Avoiding Negative People

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negative-peopleNegative people walk among us, and you will encounter them in your life and your business. You will have to deal with skeptical customers. You will have to face pessimistic team members. You will encounter negative vendors. Regardless of where you look, you will run into people who will insist that the glass is half empty, that will never work and you are just wasting your time.

We all can’t be positive. We all can’t be encouraging. If you don’t want your positive energy drained and your focus wasted, you need to develop the right skills for avoiding negative people. Keep the following in mind when looking for practical ways to avoid killjoys and spirit killers.

Learn to spot them a mile away

Negative people are not good at putting up a front or even attempting to. Their negativity and pessimistic natures will quickly bubble up to the surface. Be sensitive to negativity so you don’t end up in a situation where you find yourself knee-deep in a project with a negative person. Your time is precious–you can’t get it back. This is why it is crucial for you to spend time with people who will encourage you, strengthen you, and support you. Every second you spend with someone who is negative is a second wasted. [Read more…]

The Mills of Your Life Grind—What?

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This week’s Monday Morning Message from Wm. H. Danforth, founder of Ralston Purina:
What is the Monday Morning Message?

Our mill grinds only what is put into it. Put in good grain and good products come out. Put in rotten grain and you get rotten products.

Put in nothing and you grind air—and rattle. Imagine yourself a mill for a week. What are you going to grind?

Good or Bad Thoughts? Good or Bad Words? Good or Bad Deeds? Or nothing—and rattle?

In computer programmer lingo, this is known as “garbage in, garbage out.”

What raw materials do you put into your brain?

So much of what passes for entertainment is uninspiring, negative and just plain nasty. No one’s life is made better by watching “Jersey Shore.” Do the programs you watch make you feel better or worse? If they are focused on showing people at their worst, turn them off. The same thing goes for music, magazines and, yes, even the news. You should be informed, but the latest scare from TV news does not help you to be informed and it will not bring on good thoughts.

Are the people you associate with upbeat and positive, or do they always find the dark lining in every silver cloud? Does every sentence contain at least one profanity? Do they try to pump themselves up by putting others down with gossip?

Always look for opportunities to feed your brain with good stuff. Avoid the negative, the angry, the unhappy. “Our mill grinds only what is put into it.”

Turn Complaints Into Opportunities

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complaintsWhenever you hear anyone (including yourself) complain about something, ask yourself, “What opportunity is hidden within this complaint?”

1.More often than not when anyone complains about anything there’s an opportunity wrapped up in the complaint.

Many businesses were created in response to complaints. People complained that something they wanted was not available, or it was hard to get, or the quality wasn’t up to their standards, or…whatever the complaint, the response can be the creation of a successful new product or service.

2.Listen when other people complain about situations. Make it standard procedure to turn the coin over—see what opportunity is spelled out on the other side.

Ask yourself, “How could this complaint be addressed?” Think about solutions you could offer.

3.Listen when you yourself kick about little “personal” things that get your goat. When you act to correct these annoyances you not only get rid of the bother, but it can touch off a whole new attitude for the constructive handling of all sorts of things that bother you.

How often do you grouse about not being able to find things, or that you can’t make your computer do what you want it to do. A day spent with an organizer could solve the first problem, and a computer class at your local college could resolve your other complaint. A little time invested now could make you much more productive—and stop your complaints!

4.Remember that when we refuse to do anything but complain about things that bother us we perpetuate an endless cycle of frustration.

Are you going to continue to complain about that $#@%^# computer, or are you going to take action?

5.Get things out of your system by crabbing about things first if you must—but then ask yourself, “How can I capitalize on this?”

OK, sometimes we just want to bitch. So do a little complaining. Set a timer, and let yourself whine and moan for seven minutes. Then stop and come up with a solution. (You might find it hard to keep complaining for a full seven minutes when you realize how silly you sound and that your complaining isn’t getting you anywhere.)

6.When something about your work doesn’t suit you, be sure to turn the coin over. Here’s your chance to go to town in an area that you yourself control.

Don’t like your job? Bored with your business? Find ways to challenge yourself and make things more interesting.

7.Remember, there is not just one opportunity on the other side of the coin—there are often several.

In school, we were taught that there is one correct answer to every question. In life, there can be dozens or even hundreds of workable solutions.

The next time you hear yourself or someone else complain, stop and ask, “So what am I going to do about this? Where is the opportunity for me to do something exciting and wonderful?”

Act As If

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confident.jpgIf you want your life to change, one simple thing you can do is to act as though the change has already occurred. If you want to achieve something, act as though you have already gotten your desired result. If you want to possess a certain quality, act as if you already do.

Want to be happy? Act as though you are happy.

Want recharge your marriage? Remember how you felt in the early days of your relationship, and act that way again.

Want to have a job you can love? Act as though you love your current job.

Want to be more confidant? Act as though you are confident.

Acting as if you already have what you want will change your attitude to a more positive one. It will also alter how you behave toward other people and how they react to you. You will create the habits necessary to get—and be—what you want.

Acting as if is not easy. It takes practice and reinforcement. You will need to change the negative thoughts and actions that have become habits over many years. Cut yourself some slack while you are establishing new patterns, but keep acting as if and your new attitude will become a habit.

Try it—and be amazed by the results!

Develop the Greatness Within You

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peak_silhouette.jpgDo you want to be better than you are today? If the self-help section of the book store is any indication, many of us want to make changes in our lives. We want to be smarter, kinder, greener, more successful, more organized, thinner, and healthier, as well as being better parents, children, spouses, lovers, friends, and all-around human beings. Whew! That’s a lot.

To be more and achieve more, you must start by believing that change is possible. It is. You are not locked in to the life you have today.

Do not become discouraged when the changes you want do not happen overnight, or you find yourself backsliding into old, bad habits. You may take two steps forward and one step back many times, but the idea is to keep up the forward progress.

Here are ten ways in which each of us can change himself for the better.

  1. Accept yourself. In a study made of a group of college students, it was found that those who were healthiest mentally nearly always accepted  themselves,  with  all  their faults and virtues, just as naturally as they accepted other phenomena of nature: the brooks, the valleys, the mountains, the trees. Don’t continually tear yourself apart because you don’t think you’re worthy of being loved and accepted by others.
  2. Believe in yourself. Everyone has some special talent, or mark of individuality. If you don’t know what yours is, that doesn’t mean you don’t possess one. Keep seeking till you find out what your best talents are.
  3. Think of how to make others happy. If you spend too much time wondering whether or not you’re happy, you won’t be.
  4. Keep your hands and your mind occupied most of the time. As the old saying goes, “Idle hands are the devil’s playground.”
  5. Be good to yourself. Be sure to allow for some recreational activities in your life. Always have an activity that will be fun for you planned for the near future. Always have something you are looking forward to.
  6. Try to make others feel comfortable and at ease. When you meet someone for the first time, concentrate on trying to make him feel comfortable. That will keep you from feeling self-conscious. It is almost impossible for two thoughts to occupy the mind at the same time. If you concentrate on thinking about the other person, you will be too busy to worry about yourself, and you won’t give those around you the impression that you’re self-centered.
  7. Decide which of your worries can be cured. Then do something about them. If you have some worries you can’t do anything about, learn to accept the situation involved without bitterness.
  8. Love yourself, and then learn to love as many persons as you can besides yourself. If there are some you can’t help disliking, try to be fair to them. Look for their good traits. Everyone has them you know.
  9. Believe in some Power higher and greater than yourself. If you don’t want to call that power God, then call it by whatever name you choose. Believe, also, in a universe that is working toward some final good purpose. You won’t always know what the final pattern will be, but try to make the stitches you yourself sew as fine and beautiful as possible, so you can be proud and happy about them. We all contribute to the fabric of life.
  10. Forget the past. Yesterday was a dream; tomorrow may never come. Today is all we have, so use this fragment of time in the best way you can.