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Natural Stress Relief

February 23, 2010 by Cathy Stucker

Stress isn’t always a bad thing, it is simply a reaction to change or other pressures. Stress can be caused by unpleasant things (e.g., loss) or even positive changes (e.g., starting a new business, having a baby). Whatever the causes of your stress, it can have negative effects on your health, your relationships and other aspects of your life, unless you learn to manage it.

Here are some ideas for natural stress relief that can help you stay in control.

Improve your diet. Eating better can help you feel better and give you the stamina to deal with stress. Eat more fresh vegetables and fruits and fewer sugars, salt, and refined carbohydrates. Decrease your caffeine intake, too, as caffeine can exacerbate the symptoms of stress. Not sure you can give up your daily coffees? Try switching to decaf, or a mixture of “regular” and decaffeinated coffee. Or better yet, substitute herbal teas.

Take your vitamins. The best way to get the vitamins and nutrients you need is by eating a healthy balanced diet. However, if you are not sure you are getting all you need, you might consider a supplement. Take a daily multivitamin, or choose a supplement with just the vitamins you need most. Vitamin C boosts the immune system and has been shown to decrease stress related infections. Vitamins A and E are antioxidants, and B-complex vitamins can improve your mood.

Use aromatherapy. Scents are incredibly powerful. Just getting a whiff of freshly-baked cookies can take us back to childhood, and happy associations with Mom’s best oatmeal cookies. Catching the aroma of an ex-lover’s favorite cologne can bring back less pleasant memories. Lavender, Rosemary, Sandalwood, and Tangerine are some of the scents that have a calming effect. Choose an essential oil, a candle, potpourri or other scented item that relaxes you or makes you feel happy.

Remove yourself from stressful situations. When you can, take yourself out of situations that aggravate your stress. Avoid people that trigger stress reactions, work away from your office for the day, or skip dinner at your in-laws just this once. You can’t run away from stress, but you can take steps to avoid it.

Enjoy a warm bath. Fill your tub with warm water and luxurious bubbles, or add your favorite essential oil to the water. Then sit back and soak away sore muscles, that tired feeling and the stresses of the day.

Get moving! You don’t have to take up kickboxing or run a marathon, just start an activity that puts you in motion. Walk your dog, get on the treadmill, jump rope, take an aerobics class—anything that gets your heart rate up and gets those endorphins pumping. I keep a mini-trampoline in my office, and when I am feeling tired or stressed, I jump up and down for a few minutes.

Get a massage. Its a a good way to relax. Where do you carry your stress? For me, it is mostly in my neck and shoulders. A massage helps to release that stress. Many places (e.g., grocery stores, book stores, etc.) have chair massages available. Just 10 or 15 minutes can make a huge difference.

Meditate. Clear your mind and reduce your stress. Add aromatherapy and yoga or gentle stretching after meditation to enhance the effects.

If you are alive you will feel stress, but you can take action to control the effects of stress on your mind and body.

Filed Under: Life Lessons Tagged With: reduce stress, relieve stress, stress relief

Learn From Your Mistakes

February 20, 2010 by Cathy Stucker

It seems that no one likes to make mistakes; however, mistakes can provide valuable learning experiences. I have made one or two mistakes in my life and, fortunately, I was usually able to take at least one lesson from the mistake. Although some mistakes may be costly in money, time or just dignity, they can provide lessons that will stay with you long after you have forgotten much of what you learned in school.

The only way to avoid making mistakes is never to do anything. Actually, that is also a mistake, but it is more comfortable to most people than trying something and failing. After all, if you never try anything, no one will notice. They will notice, though, if you try and mess up. That is an attitude that will keep you locked in failure and will stop you from achieving all that you could.

When you attempt new things, you will make mistakes and you will fail. Every successful person has stories of failure—they just may not tell them. Here is how you can turn your mistakes into lessons that will help you to succeed. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Life Lessons Tagged With: mistakes

The Master Formula for Making Your Dreams Come True

September 10, 2009 by Cathy Stucker

make-your-dreams-come-trueI discovered this formula in an old book about making your dreams come true. Although the book was published almost 50 years ago, I believe that the formula hasn’t changed. Here are the six steps to making your dreams come true, with commentary by the original author and myself.

1. Decide what you want. If you don’t know what you want, you certainly can’t get it. That is only natural. So decide on what your dream is: a million dollars, health, travel, clothes, a happy marriage. Focus on your true dream. Many people say they want money, but their true dream is what they will be able to do with the money. Your dream may be to have wealth, or it may be to have the freedom to travel, or the ability to spend your time as you wish. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Life Lessons Tagged With: dreams, dreams come true, make your dreams come true

Overcoming Fear

June 17, 2009 by Cathy Stucker

overcome-fearHow can we conquer fears and worries without prescription drugs or years of therapy? Here are some methods that have proved helpful to almost everyone who has tried them.

1 Analyze exactly what you are afraid of

Any fear that is faced honestly and truthfully may be conquered, if the source of the fear can be determined. But fear wears many masks. Once you are able to determine what your real fears are you can, with time and patience, overcome them.

2. Analyze your problem: can something be done?

The famous prayer of Alcoholics Anonymous embodies a philosophy of life that has helped change the attitudes of thousands of persons for the better.

God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; The courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference.

An old English proverb puts it this way:

For every evil under the sun, There is a remedy, or there is none. If there be one, try and find it. If there be none, never mind it.

If something can be done, do it. If nothing can be done, stop stewing about it.

3. Compute the likelihood of the thing you fear happening

We often overestimate the danger of unfamiliar actions, and overestimate the safety of the familiar. If you are afraid of flying, become aware of safety statistics. The fact is that plane crashes make the news because (1) they are rare and (2) when they happen, there are often many people injured. You probably do more dangerous things than getting on an airplane without giving them a second thought.

Be realistic about the odds of what you fear actually coming to pass.

4. Do the thing you fear

If you have a concrete fear, you can often conquer it by doing the thing you fear. In fact, Emerson wrote, “Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.”

In order to get rid of a fear, we usually have to expose ourselves over and over again to the situation we fear.

Suppose, for instance, you’re afraid to get up in public and make a speech. If you get up in public only once or twice, you may never quite conquer your fear.

But if you get up in public at every available opportunity, each time you will lose a little of your fear. Psychiatrists refer to this process as desensitization.

5. Learn to deal with problems as soon as they arise

Ignoring a problem does not make it go away. Postponing action does not make the situation better, it makes it worse.

6. Overcome your fear of making mistakes

Many of our fears are based on past mistakes. Instead of profiting from our failures and learning from them, we let the memory of them paralyze us.

We might ask ourselves: What have I to lose if I act as though I did not fear the thing I do fear? When you discover you have nothing to lose, you release within yourself the power o£ positive action.

7. Have faith in your ability to solve problems

Faced with a new job, we are apt to go into a blue funk. Sometimes we are afraid we won’t be equal to it.

Here’s a way to build up your realization that you probably can handle the job, and handle it well.

In the next half hour, take a refreshing shower or bath. Then sit down with a pad and pencil and write down the things you’ve accomplished that should help to equip you for the job.

What are your strong points? Write them down. What are your weak points? Can you do anything to eliminate them? If you figure things up correctly, you’ll find your strong points outweigh your weak ones. And with your strength, you’ll be able to correct your weakness.

Surely, there is some reason why the boss picked you for this job. He believes you can do it. Why should he be wrong? Why should you judge yourself more harshly than he judges you?

Close the door on the past. Maybe you failed at something you tried to do ten years ago. What of it? Certainly you learned from that experience. In many ways you are different from the man you were ten years ago.

It is utterly impossible to live in the past. Never mind yesterday. Today is a new day. This very day will bring you over 1,000 minutes, which you can use as you choose.

8. Don’t expect to be completely worry-free

Some fears and worries have a rational basis, while others are based on exaggeration and misinterpretation. But only a moron could go through life completely unconcerned and unworried every second of every day.

What we want out of life is to acquit ourselves so that we can approve of how we ourselves have acted in emergencies.

Faced with a situation he fears, every human being either (1) runs away from it (2) faces it or (3) retreats temporarily, gathers his reserve strength together, and then attacks the situation again.

You can’t successfully flee from fear. We know that running away from any situation or fear is foolish. The man who absconds with the bank’s money will be caught, sooner or later. The deserter who walks out on his wife and children will usually be brought to justice. And within the bar of his own mind, he is condemned the moment he acts against his inner convictions. The salesman with the cold doorknob hand who refuses to knock on anybody’s door will never sell successfully.

We can build our courage by our daily actions. We can, by our small daily actions, learn to triumph over small fears, and so build up the kind of courage that will help us face large emergencies successfully.

Filed Under: Life Lessons Tagged With: conquer fear, how to overcome fear, overcome fear, overcoming fear

Is Rejection Good?

May 19, 2009 by Cathy Stucker

rejectionWe generally fear rejection and, when it happens, it can be upsetting or even depressing.

No one wants to be turned down by a potential client or someone else to whom we have reached out. Perhaps you asked for their business, or you hoped to collaborate with them on a project or you made some other type of proposal. When you hear “no” (or worse, nothing) it can be dispiriting.

So is there a bright side to rejection? There can be, if you take the right approach. Ask yourself these questions.

Was this the right offer? Be a little brave and ask why they said no. They may not be willing to say, or may give you an answer that is not 100% honest, but you might be surprised what you learn. Sometimes the no comes because they don’t want or need what you offer right now, it could be price or terms, or it could be that the offer wasn’t clear.

The feedback can help you improve (or maybe even rescue the current situation). Do not completely remake your offer to suit them, but you can make some tweaks (or perhaps just explain it better) and that may be enough. Use what you learn when approaching others in the future.

Was this the right time? The need may not exist right now, or they might be focused on other issues.

If the door is left open, you can approach them again when circumstances change.

Was this the right person? Perhaps the person you approached was not a good fit with you. Their personalities or priorities may clash with yours, or maybe the person is just a jerk. In any event, you are probably better off not working with them.

Next time, look for the right people to do business with. Put a questionnaire on your site to help potential clients and partners self-screen. Make sure your image is in line with what your ideal clients expect.

Don’t take rejection personally. It often isn’t personal at all. Even when it is, it does not mean that there is something wrong with you. It means that you or your offer are not a good fit with the person you approached. Or it may mean that there is something wrong with them. ;o)

Good salespeople know that rejection is part of the job. The more people you approach, the more you will hear “no.” But approaching more people also means that you will hear “yes” more often.

Don’t fear rejection. Accept it, learn from it, and move on to the next “yes.”

Filed Under: Life Lessons Tagged With: dealing with rejection, fear of rejection, rejection

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